Archive for Who Knows

The R-Word ~ Part I

*I feel a little weird writing this. But I’m going to say what’s on my mind, because I am brutally honest. Brutally brutally honest.*

I use the word retarded. A lot. That’s hard to admit. But for the sake of my argument here, I have to admit it.

I have deleted what I’ve written like four or five times. I have hated everything that I’ve written because it either sounds flippant or like an apology. And I don’t need to apologize for how I feel.


To start. I find the fact that the movie to boycott at the moment uses the word retard over and over again, in a negative way. (Stay with me!) The blatant disregard for the fact that the word offends some people is unacceptable. I can’t stand that we find it completely unacceptable to poke fun of one group of people (which this movie thinks it was doing) but not another. We need to get equal opportunity hater-ade going. The movie repeatedly used the R-word, but removed the N-word, not just from the film, but from the script entirely. Because it didn’t want to offend people? What the hell?!


I was/am a fan of Carlos Mencia. He makes fun of EVERYONE. Which for the most part, is good. Laughing at ourselves is good for the soul and the self esteem. The problem is, we’re making it harder on ourselves to not take things so serious when we get scared of being sued. Of offending one group of people and not another. Don’t tell me one group of people’s feelings are more important than another simply because one group is bigger. I don’t care if you are white, black, purple, a member of Mensa, have downs syndrome, or are only three feet tall. If it’s okay to offend one, it HAS to be okay to offend the others.


The use and “meaning” of the R-word in the film is unacceptable. There is no need to reiterate some “point” and demean so many people. If the film so blatantly and verbally made fun of everyone else (which in my mind they don’t, simply by saying the N word crossed the line) I honestly don’t think I would be so upset.


One of my favorite movies? The Ringer. With freaking Johnny Knoxville. Whom I can’t stand. At first, I was sooo nervous to watch that movie. Because I hate when people make fun of my peeps. But when I watched it, it was good hearted ribbing, and was awesome! It wasn’t a touchy feely feel good movie. It wasn’t a tear jerker (I am Sam makes me bawl. Hysterically.) It was just a good, good hearted movie. I seriously found it a step in the “right” direction.

Black people are in movies with the stereotypes of their race, and they are funny. White people, well, don’t get me started on white people…


Although I believe words have no weight by themselves, not everyone feels this way. Words can hurt. And they do. And if we are going to tiptoe around some words because people get upset, let’s tiptoe around all the “hurtful” words. Equal opportunity hater-ade people.


Now let me tell you how I use the word retarded. The stupidest of the stupid. Not people. Mainly things, or rules, or crap people spew out of their pie holes when they don’t know what they are talking about. I was raised by my single father who probably has some sort of disability. But 55 years ago, he was just slow and didn’t want to learn. My sister was in MiMH classes my whole life. I helped out with Carl Erskine’s softball league for mentally and physically handicapped kids. I attended more Special Olympics that I can remember. Half of my world is “challenged”. And mostly I forget. Because I don’t care. I don’t befriend people who are at or above “my level”. It’s heart and soul and love and all those other cheesy chick flick things that make me befriend people. I do not have a friend that isn’t who they are 100%. I don’t know why I turned out this way.


I do know I want to raise my kids to have this part of me. Because it’s a part of me I love. And that’s what we pass down to our kids.


(Little Bill had a great response to name calling the other day. For all our children. No matter what. The response to name calling is simply “so”, because it’s just not true…unless you’re Little Z and call your sister a girl. Because that is such an insult!)


*For more on this, you can check out Melody, who has three boys that I want to steal. And Tammy, who also has a little boy I want as my own (Her actual post is here). Hubs says I need a son. I told him good luck with that.

~~I can’t leave this at just this. I’ll have another post about it later, because I think it’s important!~~


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News At 10 ~ Haircut Bandits Strike Again



This is what happened when I went to the bathroom. My children and scissors. This is what their current mugshots look like. And I really want to strangle them.





It could have been worse. I am still not happy. Big Z has never had a hair cut (obviously). She’s in a wedding in a month. She’s going to have a real haircut soon. And Little Z. She still has the baby mullet. And now, we’re going to have to cut her hair in a way to hide the damage that they did.


And just because I don’t want to leave you with the ugly. Here’s some cute ballerinas.


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Grandma, watch your mail!

Big Z just brought me her empty lunch plate, and asked for cookies. I went to get her cookies and saw that *z* had a lot of crackers on her plate. Twice as many as I had given her. I asked *Z* if she had put her crackers on Little Z’s plate. Her response?


“No. I didn’t. A goblin did it.”

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If I kill someone…

**This was written last night, but I forgot to hit “publish” so pretend it’s last night. K?**

I have two things to discuss tonight. And I’m going to start with the light hearted one, because the other is a VERY big issue, and it makes me want to get into a fight.


To start, today was a monumental day, and only if you know that my husband is a homebody. He absolutely hates to leave the house. But for the last two days, he has gone with me and the girls swimming. In public! (Our apartment complex pool) To “reward” him for breaking away from his hermit ways for a bit, I made his favorite childhood dessert. Arroz doce. It’s a sweet rice. So simple, and if you die before you have some, you will not have led a fulfilled life.

Here’s the quick recipe.

6 cups milk

1 cup sugar

1 1/2 cups rice

2 eggs (beaten)

Combine the milk and sugar in a large saucepan. When bubbles start to form around the edge, add rice. Place on medium heat for 1 hour, stirring occasionally. Cook for 1 hour without bringing mixture to a boil. Add eggs (tempered of course) Sprinkle with cinnamon and enjoy!

(I added a bit of vanilla because I like the taste that way.)


To.die.for. (and GLUTEN FREE!!!!)


Okay. Now. On to why I want to commit murder. I’ll just have to stop taking my Prozac so I can use an insanity defense. I’m sure you’ll believe that it’s worth it.


My oldest cousin, Joy, has a seven year old son. Ray. I love this little boy beyond just a second cousin. I’ve pretty much watched him grow up, and he’s the closest thing to a nephew or niece I’m gonna get for a while. Joy had/has a boyfriend that no one in my family has ever liked since day 2. (We give everyone a 1 day “free” pass where we choose not to judge.) He moved in with her and Ray almost immediately. (It may have been, but I live far away, and people avoid me like the plague.) I kept hearing from my family about what a terrible influence and all this other “we hate this guy” gossip that made it’s rounds. It didn’t help that he was 19, and Joy was 27. Not that age is a big deal. But just out of high school and divorced single mom don’t exactly make for the best relationship. I kept getting phone calls, telling me that when I came home for The Hubs’ deployment, I needed to convince her to kick him out. This boyfriend lost any chance of me approving of him the first time I met him. Joy and I are very close. Mostly because we are opposite and (as Erica told me a few days ago) I say what she is thinking. I can’t keep my mouth closed, and don’t think I should always have to. I took the girls over to play with Ray, and so that Joy and I could catch up. Instead of hanging out and catching up, we sat on the couch and barely talked for two hours. Because the boyfriend was doing that. The second time, we were playing in the backyard, and instead of coming and hanging out with us, he left without a word and went to his mommy’s house. Annoyed me to no end.

And then, we had a family crisis and this boyfriend was a huge help. 

Ray told us that Joy’s former fiance (who used to live with them before the wedding was called off) had molested him two years before. The way that he told was odd, and gave the boyfriend a new chance with us.

Ray and the boyfriend were home one evening, and out of no where, Ray says “I hate (former fiance).” No one had talked about this guy for about two years. With some questioning from the boyfriend, it was discovered that Former Fiance had forced Ray at 5 years old to preform oral sex on him, and other things. When I found out, I first was about to commit murder, along with the other 25 people of my family who lived in the same city (including 86 year old grandma) then I took a minute to process everything, and realized that Ray must trust this boyfriend guy to tell him this. So I told my family to give him another chance. That maybe we’re just being overly judgemental (which is our nature, to protect our own) and he possibly wasn’t that bad.


I still can’t stand the guy. Once he moved in with Joy, she rarely talked to me, and before, we talked for about two hours a week. I knew something was wrong when she called me yesterday. There has been some drama. Last week she called and told me that she had finally kicked the boyfriend out. Lots of things led up to it, but he stole money from her to pay a warrant so he wouldn’t go to jail, and that was the last straw. He then tried to kill himself for the second time in a year. Yesterday, she called because she is at her wits end.


Her ex husband (whom she divorced before The Hubs and I even started dating) AND the ex fiance were calling the boyfriend. Why the ex husband gives a crap anymore is beyond me. He cheated on her, and left her, so really? He should just go away. The ex fiance on the other hand, had a dirty, sneaky, underhanded reason to call. He is trying to convince the boyfriend not to testify at his trial, so that he doesn’t have to go to jail. And, since the boyfriend is an a-hole, he called Joy and told her that if she breaks off their relationship completely, he will not testify.


Honestly, she needs to break this off. It’s been a long year and a half, and she needs to be done. But I have a feeling she won’t, just so the ex can be sent to jail, for what he did, and what we’re fairly certain he’s done to other little boys. (The sons of his now fiance.) Can I ask you, oh my favorite Internet, to pray for Joy and Ray? Or if you don’t pray, whatever it is you do to try and help get a good outcome from situations. We really really need it.

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Long Weekend

I am recovering from a long weekend of hanging out with my best friend in the whole world. A couple of months ago, on my way home from work, I had a back molar chip. The entire front of the tooth basically fell off. Yesterday, while on our way to the airport, the other top molar chipped. I thought I was going to die. Or my face would fall off. Or something equally as great that would stop the tooth pain.


So, to keep my mind off of it, I’ll post some pictures from this weekend!


(The Hubs best friend, James, Little Kid, TamTam, and Jo. All night card games are fun!)

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I’ll be back…

My bestest friend in the whole wide world is visiting this weekend. We’ve got stuff to do. I’ll be back on Monday or Tuesday!

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New Rule

The Hubs and I are stuck here in Where the Government Tells Me for at least 3 more years. Which means…drum roll please…it’s time to buy a house. One of the Realtors has started my search for me and my “personal site” gets updated pretty much every day. While perusing the listings this morning I was getting really mad.


The photos either look like they were taken with a camera phone, or they people didn’t care enough to clean up before the Realtor broke out the camera phone to take the pictures.


New Rule: If you want to sell your house, use a REAL camera, and CLEAN UP!!!

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