Archive for Food!


This has been sitting on my counter for a couple of weeks. At one point, it was full of big, fat, nasty dill pickles. (I’m not a fan, can you tell?) Now, it’s getting lonely because I think it’s been neglected for a while. No one wants that last pickle.


Could it be that someone took a bite and put it back? I’m highly disturbed by this finding. Which is of course why I’m telling the internet about it. Because who else would I tell? Geeze. You guys think I have a life or something? Well…actually…I sorta do. And I left the claustrophobic confines of my apartment and finally fixed this major issue with Z’s hair. We went to the salon in the BX and the wonderful Toni cut Z’s hair. Little Z was GOING to get hers done, but the booger chickened out at the last minute.

Kids are so fickle. Five minutes before this picture, in the car, she was so excited about getting her hair cut for the wedding. (26 days and counting) Once the booster seat was in the chair, and her butt was on the booster seat, she decided if she didn’t speak, she would disappear.

Then there were tears. Because even though Princess said that haircuts don’t hurt, she was convinced that they do. (Let’s pretend the self haircut never happened…)  I love the little fish all over the cape. Too cute. Had they used a regular black one, I would have walked out, because my baby is not old enough for that.

Zeph has now decided her next hair cut will be with Ms Toni. She’s HER hair cut girl. because at 3 you should find a good stylist. I just hate to tell her that with the life we lead, she’s only got about 3 years left with Ms Toni. (Which is fine. Erica has her hair lady back home. I have a stylist in Indiana. And I’m sure so does everyone else. How do normal people plan vacations? Ours sorta revolve around hair appointments.)

 And if she wants Ms Toni next time, well, her hair turned out fine, and I think I’ll let her go back.




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How Do I Love Thee…Let Me Tell the Internet

I found this in my mailbox yesterday before I went to work. A little beat up, sorta “damp” but still awesome.

When I talked to my dad about sending it, I told him that he was to buy the stuff at the store where I worked with The Hubs. It was on sale. He wasn’t sure how many ears he could get into the box, so he took it with him and just filled it up in the produce section. I told him if he went early, he’d only run into people who know me, and since I worked there for five years, they know him too. In high school and for a couple years later, everyone acted like everything I did was normal. Because I don’t care what people think. Dad laughed because he knew this was true. So he agreed to do it.


My dad is not one to do funny things in public. He’s hilarious when it’s just the family. But remember what my dad looks like?


He doesn’t really look like the type of guy to do crazy things right? Well, after a quarter of a century being related to me, he finally is breaking down and doing stuff that I find “normal” that other people don’t normally do.



Even Katrina who works at the service desk at the store where The Hubs, Brat, and myself used to work at. She left me a message. And I’m sure she decided that my father mailing me a box full of fresh corn was completely normal.



I could almost swear I heard angels singing when I saw this. It was also almost enough to make me faint out of joy. If fainting out of joy is possible.



This? Well this was just icing on the cake, and a little bit orgasmic. And then, I remembered how much I hate shucking corn. Because the hairs? The hairs are a complete and utter pain, and take FOREVER to get out of the corn, or your teeth if you miss a few.



So I made the kids do it. Because I’m the best mom ever. And I sure as heck wasn’t going to be the one to stand over the trash can and peel hair and husk off ears of corn, when I had better things to do. You know, like take pictures of the corn, and read blogs.



Twelve minutes, one stick of butter, and a few grinds of salt and pepper later, this is what I had for dinner. So freakin’ good. And I still have ears to eat. And maybe now, you’ll understand why I say Indiana has the best corn in the world. (And it’s the prettiest. Illinois, Iowa, and Kansas all have beyond ugly corn.)

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If I wasn’t me…

I found gluten free bread, that I was planning on reviewing on my Gluten Free Food page. It was only going to get one whine, because it tastes great. Other than being a pain in the arse because you must store it in the freezer, it is good bread. However, an unassuming sandwich officially gives this bread 10 whines. On a scale that stops at 5. But these ten whines involve tears. Really big tears.


I cut the roof of my mouth on a “harmless” cheese sandwich. And there was blood.



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If I kill someone…

**This was written last night, but I forgot to hit “publish” so pretend it’s last night. K?**

I have two things to discuss tonight. And I’m going to start with the light hearted one, because the other is a VERY big issue, and it makes me want to get into a fight.


To start, today was a monumental day, and only if you know that my husband is a homebody. He absolutely hates to leave the house. But for the last two days, he has gone with me and the girls swimming. In public! (Our apartment complex pool) To “reward” him for breaking away from his hermit ways for a bit, I made his favorite childhood dessert. Arroz doce. It’s a sweet rice. So simple, and if you die before you have some, you will not have led a fulfilled life.

Here’s the quick recipe.

6 cups milk

1 cup sugar

1 1/2 cups rice

2 eggs (beaten)

Combine the milk and sugar in a large saucepan. When bubbles start to form around the edge, add rice. Place on medium heat for 1 hour, stirring occasionally. Cook for 1 hour without bringing mixture to a boil. Add eggs (tempered of course) Sprinkle with cinnamon and enjoy!

(I added a bit of vanilla because I like the taste that way.)


To.die.for. (and GLUTEN FREE!!!!)


Okay. Now. On to why I want to commit murder. I’ll just have to stop taking my Prozac so I can use an insanity defense. I’m sure you’ll believe that it’s worth it.


My oldest cousin, Joy, has a seven year old son. Ray. I love this little boy beyond just a second cousin. I’ve pretty much watched him grow up, and he’s the closest thing to a nephew or niece I’m gonna get for a while. Joy had/has a boyfriend that no one in my family has ever liked since day 2. (We give everyone a 1 day “free” pass where we choose not to judge.) He moved in with her and Ray almost immediately. (It may have been, but I live far away, and people avoid me like the plague.) I kept hearing from my family about what a terrible influence and all this other “we hate this guy” gossip that made it’s rounds. It didn’t help that he was 19, and Joy was 27. Not that age is a big deal. But just out of high school and divorced single mom don’t exactly make for the best relationship. I kept getting phone calls, telling me that when I came home for The Hubs’ deployment, I needed to convince her to kick him out. This boyfriend lost any chance of me approving of him the first time I met him. Joy and I are very close. Mostly because we are opposite and (as Erica told me a few days ago) I say what she is thinking. I can’t keep my mouth closed, and don’t think I should always have to. I took the girls over to play with Ray, and so that Joy and I could catch up. Instead of hanging out and catching up, we sat on the couch and barely talked for two hours. Because the boyfriend was doing that. The second time, we were playing in the backyard, and instead of coming and hanging out with us, he left without a word and went to his mommy’s house. Annoyed me to no end.

And then, we had a family crisis and this boyfriend was a huge help. 

Ray told us that Joy’s former fiance (who used to live with them before the wedding was called off) had molested him two years before. The way that he told was odd, and gave the boyfriend a new chance with us.

Ray and the boyfriend were home one evening, and out of no where, Ray says “I hate (former fiance).” No one had talked about this guy for about two years. With some questioning from the boyfriend, it was discovered that Former Fiance had forced Ray at 5 years old to preform oral sex on him, and other things. When I found out, I first was about to commit murder, along with the other 25 people of my family who lived in the same city (including 86 year old grandma) then I took a minute to process everything, and realized that Ray must trust this boyfriend guy to tell him this. So I told my family to give him another chance. That maybe we’re just being overly judgemental (which is our nature, to protect our own) and he possibly wasn’t that bad.


I still can’t stand the guy. Once he moved in with Joy, she rarely talked to me, and before, we talked for about two hours a week. I knew something was wrong when she called me yesterday. There has been some drama. Last week she called and told me that she had finally kicked the boyfriend out. Lots of things led up to it, but he stole money from her to pay a warrant so he wouldn’t go to jail, and that was the last straw. He then tried to kill himself for the second time in a year. Yesterday, she called because she is at her wits end.


Her ex husband (whom she divorced before The Hubs and I even started dating) AND the ex fiance were calling the boyfriend. Why the ex husband gives a crap anymore is beyond me. He cheated on her, and left her, so really? He should just go away. The ex fiance on the other hand, had a dirty, sneaky, underhanded reason to call. He is trying to convince the boyfriend not to testify at his trial, so that he doesn’t have to go to jail. And, since the boyfriend is an a-hole, he called Joy and told her that if she breaks off their relationship completely, he will not testify.


Honestly, she needs to break this off. It’s been a long year and a half, and she needs to be done. But I have a feeling she won’t, just so the ex can be sent to jail, for what he did, and what we’re fairly certain he’s done to other little boys. (The sons of his now fiance.) Can I ask you, oh my favorite Internet, to pray for Joy and Ray? Or if you don’t pray, whatever it is you do to try and help get a good outcome from situations. We really really need it.

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I have worked very hard at work the last two days. (Read: I have done basically nothing) So Tiff and I took Erica out for a surprise evening. There was chocolate involved, and lots of talking, because honestly, I don’t think any of us ever shut up. It’s probably why we can be friends with each other. We don’t notice this in each other, until we point it out in ourselves. (The Hubs called toward the end because he wanted to make sure I was still coming home!)


Ever the photographer, I had to take out the camera a couple of times. This is what we ate. And Erica picked, and I would so trust her with my life based on her choice of fondue alone!



This would be milk chocolate, with caramel and pecans. It’s called the “Flaming Turtle”. I would have had a better shot, and I hope you will pretend that there isn’t a giant streak of chocolate down the side of the pot, but really? Do you see this? It tasted 1000x better than it looks. Honest. I would never lie to the three of you!


Accompanying this beautiful pot of ambrosial delight were plates full of yum to dip into it. They looked like this. (Yes there was more. No, I will not say if we did or did not inhale the missing ones the minute the waiter walked away from the table.)




And what do the three most beautiful mommies formally and presently of our local Air Force base look like when they go out to dessert on a Tuesday, simply because they can?



Just so you know, we were totally whistled at as we drove down the street. I’m just sayin’.


And then. There’s that saying that says “You live for the nights you won’t remember with people you’ll never forget” or something like that… (And this was also the night that Sara learned that the flash goes off at a weird interval on her camera. It’s a good thing I’m a stripper and not a professional photographer…)


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Hey Erica! I Have Corndogs!

Anyone else have food that they love, that they know other people would gag at the thought of? Brat has been after me to try a peanut butter and pickle sandwich. We may have found the one thing that breaks my rule of “I’ll try anything once.” My dad likes to put Western salad dressing on his cottage cheese. I put a lot of things into my cottage cheese. Pineapple, tomatoes, potato chips, all kinds of stuff. Salad dressing, not so much on my list.


Can I tell you what mine is? I have two that are beyond ambrosial in my mind, and to my taste buds, but I’m sure all three of you, my darling readers. Ketchaise and Cheesy Ketchup. Now. Before you get all freaked out and wonder what is wrong with me, these were accidental discoveries on my part. I did not just get the “ideas” for this stuff and then try it out.


Ketchaise is Ketchup (or catsup, depending on, oh who am I kidding? I don’t know why there are two different, same named condiments) mixed with mayo. It is the perfect dip, other than Frostys for french fries. I have been eating this for years, and now keep a container of it premixed in my fridge. (Someone tell TamTam to stay out of the fridge when she comes to visit. She’ll stroke out in my kitchen. Fo’ real.) We discovered this probably six years ago when my friend ‘Nise dropped some mayo in her ketchup.


Cheesy Ketchup, I honestly don’t know what started this, but it’s restaurant specific, so you might not be able to try it. If you can’t, you can’t say it’s gross. Steak ‘n Shake. Get cheesy fries to go, so that they put the cheese in a cup. Dump in a couple packages of ketchup, and dip their tiny, diminutive, really small french fries in it. It’s bliss. (College y’all. College.)


Any of you guys have something or things like this? I wanna know. If I try what you suggest, I’ll let you know!

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